Take up your sword, I'll take my pen.

Take yourself places you can only dream of.

Hello tumblr,

I am the occasionally exasperated owner of five cats, and because they’re being really cute tonight I’ve decided to share their kitten pictures with you.

The first is Hiro, who is a purebred Rag-doll which as you can see from the picture is shorthand for really fucking huge kitten that flops around. He hides behind the bathroom door until I close the door to do my business at which point he ambushes me.

The second is Houdini, an autistic American Short-hair who fails to understand that he is not a ruler and he’s not helping me measure shit by sleeping like that. He’s terrified of thunder, to the point where he can’t move when he hears it. I pick him up when this happens and hide him in the towel cabinet so he can’t see the lightning flashes or feel the vibrations of the thunder.

Next in the list is Gir, a half Rag-doll half American Long-hair, who -at least in the picture- seems to be terrified of tubs. The reason he’s named Gir is because, after being born, the very first thing he did to greet this world was blow a spit bubble.

Fourth is Chuck Norris, a American short hair, who looks exactly like his daddy Houdini. Chuck Norris follows me around like a lap dog and is often prone to standing in front of closed doors and staring at them whilst meowing. Very loudly.

Finally we have Harley Quin, a mutt cat, using a fast food napkin as a blanket. She is my alarm clock, waking me up every day at 11 purring loud enough to wake the dead and demanding petting.

The point of all this nonsense is Cats. Are. Fucking. Crazy.

But I love mine.